


The Closet

by AdrianaintheSnow



Series: Inappropriate Activities in the Pond House [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Blow Jobs, F/M, Inappropriate activities in a closet, Middle Age Doctor, Mild Smut, Student River
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 10:16:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4742582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrianaintheSnow/pseuds/AdrianaintheSnow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young River Song never got to play the game Seven Minutes in Heaven and the Doctor is not as good at resisting her manipulations as he believed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Closet

**Author's Note:**

> If it's not clear, the Doctor is post "The Wedding of River Song," but still not very far into their time stream (despite how old he might think he is). River is still an undergraduate student. This is a companion piece to "The Couch," but there really isn't an order to them as, from The Doctor's point of view, this story comes after "The Couch," but from River's point of view, "The Couch" happens after this.
> 
> I'm proofreading myself and I'm not very good at it so bare with me and if there is a glaring mistake, tell me.

“Melody Pond!” Amy’s screech followed her daughter as she bolted out of the kitchen, down the hallway, and into the living room.

“River, wha…” she grabbed his arm and yanked him along behind her at a run. He followed her up the stairs before she stopped, her eyes searching the hall before landing on the walk in closet. She ripped open the door and shoved him inside before he could protest. She followed, closing the door behind her.

They stood there for a moment in the sudden darkness.

“What did you do?” he hissed when his eyes had adjusted a bit.

She fidgeted a bit. “I might have accidently set the kitchen on fire again.”

“Again? River, you need to stop doing that!”

“I said accidently.”

“You can’t set Amy’s kitchen on fire three times in a week and expect people to believe it was an accident.”

“It’s not my fault dad bought lime green drapes,” she mumbled folding her arms.

“You did do it on purpose!” he said a bit too loudly.

“Shh, mom will hear you.”

“You can’t do things like that River,” he scolded her. Then his face became horrified. “And you made me an accomplish by bringing me with you.”

He couldn’t quite see in the dark, but he was pretty sure she was rolling her eyes. “You’ll be fine. She’ll calm down in a few minutes anyway.”

“You can’t just light things on fire that you don’t like.”

“Fine. I’ll just throw them in the chipper shredder next time,” she told him.

He groaned, leaning his head back against one of the shelves. “Just don’t involve me next time.”

“Fine, whatever.”

“Good.” There were a few moments of silence, punctured only by the muffled sound of an angry Scottish woman downstairs. The closet was big enough that they could stand with about two inches between them, but he could still feel River’s breath puffing against his face and there were two shelves digging into his back. He’d been in tighter spaces, with and without the woman in front of him. Yet, despite his experience in tight spaces, he had never acquired the patience to stay still and do nothing. “So now what?” he asked.

“Well mom’ll take about 15 minutes to cool off. Ever played Seven Minutes in Heaven?”

“What’s tha- It’s a sex thing, isn’t it?”

“Just a little bit of a sex thing.” She told him holding up her fingers to demonstrate how little.

He rolled his eyes. “We are not having sex in your parent’s closet,” he said sternly. “Nor are we ever having sex in your parent’s closet in either of our timelines.”

They’d been down that road before, or, at least, he had. So often that the Pond’s had rules about it. ‘No communal seating areas, no dining areas, and no washing machines,’ Amy would remind him every time he showed up with a not-yet-his-wife River.

When he’d been younger, River had been able to manipulate him into anything if she wanted to. The younger version of him had learned very quickly that the younger she was, the more she wanted to manipulate him into dangerous or embarrassing situations. Having any sexual contact with a River Song who was still a university student in her parent’s house, was both of those things. But, he was older now and wasn’t going to be tricked into anything as easily as he once was. He was the adult in this situation.

“It’s not actual sex,” she explained widening her eyes, innocently. He gave her a skeptical look. “It’s not! It’s just a game teenagers play where two of them are locked in a closet by their friends and then they make out for seven minutes.”

“Why would children lock each other in a closet?”

“Hormones I assume,” she said.

“Well it’s a good thing we’re adults,” he bopped her on the nose.

“Exactly. We can lock ourselves in the closet,” she replied wiggling her eyebrows.

“River…” he warned in his most unyielding voice.

She watched his face for a few seconds, and then, suddenly, her face fell, caving in on itself a bit. “Never mind,” she muttered, “It was stupid anyway.”

He panicked a little at her sudden change in demeanor. River was always so full of spunk and bravado that he sometime forgot how fragile she could be. When she was this young, it was possible to unintentionally strike a nerve with just one misplaced sentence. His mind scrambled for a way to fix whatever he’d just done. “Why do you want to play?” he asked gently.

She shrugged, not looking at him anymore. “It’s just,” she started, “mom used to talk about playing it at parties when we were teenagers. She always used to use it as a reason why I should go: so I could make out with hot guys in a closet. I’d tell her it was a silly game and the parties were stupid, but that was a lie. Most of the time I’d have training and couldn’t go to the parties, but even when I could have gone, it just felt awkward. I wasn’t really ever friends with anyone but my parents when I was Mels. I always felt like an outsider in big groups of teenagers.” She gave a little half smile. “Plus, I was actually in my twenties at that point and thought myself above it all. But, secretly, even though I know it’s silly, I always wanted to play the game, just to feel normal for once.”

He felt his heart break a little bit at the wistfulness in her tone. Despite the fact that he was older now, it was still almost impossible to deny River Song anything when she looked so sad. “Fine. I’ll play the game,” he told her, but he shook a warning finger at her when she looked up at him. “But only kissing. No funny business or wandering hands. Only lips” She smiled, her eyes sparkling. “Do you hear me? Only lips.”

“Of course, Sweetie. I promise, I will only touch you with my lips,” she swore.

There was something unsettling about her word choice. A little alarm bell went off in his head, but, with the vision of her sad eyes from a moment ago still in the forefront of his mind, he chose to ignore it.

“Alright. Good.” He reached out to her then, cupping her face with tender hands. As he tilted her head back, her eyes fluttered shut, making a fond smile pull at his lips.

He kept the kiss soft and gentle at first. His hands slid from her face down to her back to draw her a bit closer to him. She made a little sound and wrapped her arms around his waist, yanking him flush against her. His body stirred at the feel of her pressed up against him.

“River,” he warned pausing the kiss, but not pulling away. ‘You’re the adult,’ he reminded himself.

“I’m not touching you, I’m touching your jacket,” she mumbled, smiling against his lips. That seemed like an argument that was very dangerous to let her win.

“You-”

“Shh, Sweetie,” she nibbled on his bottom lip and his fingers tightened on her back. It was very hard to think with her kissing him. River was good at making him forget where he was and why he shouldn’t bend to her will in everything. But, he was old enough to control himself. Besides, she hadn’t completely honed her skills when it came to playing him.

When she didn’t make any more moves to escalate the situation for a few moments, he decided it was probably safe to tease his tongue across the seam of her lips. Her lips parted eagerly, but she let him keep control of the speed. His tongue slowly explored her mouth and she made a moaning sound in the back of her throat. Her hands came up to fiddle with his bowtie and the front of his shirt as her tongue met his. He slid his hands up her back into her hair, his favorite place to put them when kissing her. His fingers toyed with her curls as he got lost in the feel of her lips on his and her hands on his chest.

After either a few seconds or a few years, she drew back and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He rubbed his nose against hers and she giggled at him fondly before continuing to press kisses all over his face. She moved down to kiss his neck, sucking at his pulse point gently before adding teeth. He groaned tilting his head to give her better access. Her lips slowly made a path down to his bare chest, and when had his shirt been unbutton? Her tongue flicked at his skin. And why was it a bad thing that it was unbuttoned again?

He leaned his head back against the closet wall as she slowly moved her mouth down his body until she had to kneel. His body instantly responded to the sight, his brain going to all of the ways River had kept him distracted other times they’d been in tight situations. Except that had been with an older River, a River that was his wife. It had not been with a River who was still working on her undergraduate degree and it had defiantly not happened in her parent’s closet while one of said parents was actively looking for them.

“River, this is a bad idea,” he choked out.

“I’ve got four minutes and 23 seconds left. You have to follow the rule, Doctor.” With that, she grabbed the waist of his trousers (being sure not to brush his skin with her hands) and tore them in one swift motion. The button flew across the room and he was sure that she broke the zipper, not that it mattered considering the trousers now had a rip in the fabric at the front. He gulped.

“Maybe we should stop and th-” he was unable to finish his sentence, feeling her teeth scrape his lower stomach as she bit at his boxers. The arm that wasn’t pinned in by the closet door flung out; his hand closed around what felt like a broom handle. His fingers squeezed tighter as her teeth moved lower until his underwear were just above his knees. She smiled up at him wickedly and he tried to say something along the lines of ‘this is you’re parents closet and if they find us they will murder me twice,’ but he was pretty sure his tongue was wrapped around his tonsils by this point, so nothing came out.

His eyes were rapt on her as she licked her lips. She blew across his arousal once and a shudder ran all the way across his body. “Only kissing, hmm Doctor, just my lips.” She was mocking him and as soon as he got his ability to speak back, this version of her and perhaps one or two older versions of her were going to get an earful. But for now, he could only make choked gasping noises as she ran her tongue from the tip of his cock up to its base.

“Good boy,” she purred against his skin. She teased at his shaft with just the tip of her tongue for a few tortuous minutes before she finally drew his tip into her mouth. He gasped when she sucked on the first inch harshly, his hips thrusting forward sharply. She started up a rhythm, taking about a fourth of an inch more of him every time her head bobbed. Sharp moans escaped him as she worked and he was pretty sure the broom handle his hand was still gripping was going to snap by the end of this.

Then, suddenly, light blinded him. The closet door was open.

Everyone froze for about five seconds. River was the first to move, feeling it was a good idea to remove her mouth from his penis when her father’s horrified face was staring at them. She sat back on her heels cringing a bit.

Rory closed his gaping mouth at that moving his eyes to stare at the ceiling of the closet. He rubbed his forehead in the way that he always did when he wanted to slice the Doctor into two pieces with a sword.

“Because I love you both, I’m going to give you a five second head start.

“Rory-” the Doctor started.

“Five-”

 

“I hate you so much!” the Doctor yelled. One hand gripped his trousers, as they didn’t have a button or functioning zipper anymore, while the other one was pulling River along behind him down the steps.

“I wasn’t the one who fell for the ‘I just wanted to feel normal for once’ trick!” she shouted back.

“You’re evil!” They reached the foyer and almost ran over Amy in their haste.

“Doctor, River, what?”

“Not now Pond!” the Doctor said trying to figure out how to open the front door with two occupied hands. River reached around him and turned the knob for him.

“See you and dad at graduation, mom,” she said as she was being dragged toward the TARDIS. Amy could here footsteps on the stairs now. “Love you bye!”

The blue police box had just faded from existence when a very angry father charged into the yard holding a Roman style sword.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. (This is planned to be a three part story, but, knowing me, it may be five years before the last part is up.)


End file.
